I wrote this post about incorporating meditation into my life a few days ago, but then I read this article by NY Times columnist David Brooks called “The Neural Buddhists” which re-focused some of my thoughts. 

(more…)

Ten days ago, my dad had a massive stroke and has been in a coma ever since. Today as per his oft stated wishes, we brought him home to die with dignity.

We wait, and hand out tasks, and banter about inappropriate coma jokes. (Celery, we call him, because mom was disturbed by the term “vegetable”.)

As the self-proclaimed word queen (and much indulged baby) I drew obit detail. (more…)

I want to share with you some of the lyrics from the allegorical oratorio The Garden. It is an allegory of the Garden of Gethsemane and speaks of the different characters that are in the garden before the Savior enters. (more…)

Our living room has a couch, but my dad never sits on it. He favors the blue recliner. He comes in all hot and sweaty and covered in grime, he plops down on it, turns on the TV and falls asleep snoring loudly.

He wakes up an hour later, looks around, and asks, “Did I fall asleep?” Then heads back out to plod away in the sun.

It’s an aromatic chair, it smells like hard work and long naps and my dad. My mother covers it with throws and towels, hoping to absorb aroma, but her efforts fail. I’ve always hesitated to sit in the smelly chair, because, well, it’s gross. All stinky and sweaty and earthy and fathery.

It’s the same smell that now hollows me out. I kiss my dad and that smell fills my senses. I rub his rough cheeks and pound on his chest and yell “open your eyes dad, look at me dad”, but he never does. His heart beats, his lungs fill with air, he sweats and smells like the man who taught me to tie my shoes and build bright pink pine-wood race cars, but is he hollow too?

Just two weeks ago he made me solemnly swear to return his engraver, and I hugged him and he hugged me back. Where is he? Where did he go? Why can’t he open his eyes and just be my dad again?

I try to gather vapors, but they refuse to stay. I’ve been scraped all out, I guess I’ve never met myself before.

Following on from a previous post, I wanted to ask thoughts/opinions about a specific topic. (more…)

Okay, so I have an issue that I need help with. My brother just got married in February. He has a good job, nice wife, and they just bought a house. They originally decided that in the beginning of their marriage they were going to wait about a year before they started the kid segment of their lives. Ya right! What Mormon waits? (and yes I know there are some that do, but it seems you are the minority rather than the majority) A month later they decided that they wanted to start trying. They realized that the truck they currently own is not going to be big enough to tote around a car seat. (more…)

A few weeks ago, my husband announced that the Saturday before Mother’s Day would be my “do whatever you want” day. I was free to go where I wanted and do what I wanted, and he’d do the rest.

So I made plans. Man, did I make plans. I had the first half of the day booked solid. Then I figured that I’d go somewhere nice to eat, and maybe hit the art museum. Or go to a movie by myself. Or do some shopping. The possibilities were endless and I was giddy.

(more…)

Scout is a ‘nacle permablogger friend of fMh that needs our advice.

by: Scout

I have two adult children. Child #3 (hereafter called “Three”), age nine, is for all practical purposes an only child. He is cheerful, imaginative, bright and funny. He is also sensitive and gentle. And handsome!

He doesn’t have any friends. Well, that’s not true. He has one friend, who seems like an OK kid, mostly, but he’s a little on the rough side and has been being kind of mean and bossy lately. It’s like he keeps Three as a friend for somebody to pick on. Until recently, Three had another friend, who lives right around the corner, and who was a pretty neat kid and seemed to be here almost every day. Then I stopped seeing the neighbor, and when I asked Three where Neighbor was, I was told “He says I’m boring.”

(more…)

The other day I was sitting at the computer importing songs to my Itunes account when I found my Moulin Rouge cd. I love that musical. I know, I know! It is about harlots, but the music is just so dang good I can’t help myself. (and yes that is my justification for listening and watching the movie…sue me!) I think Moulin Rouge watchers have a love hate relationship. Either you really love the show or you really hate it. I fell madly in love with Moulin Rouge. Aaahhh, anything that can combine music and love has my heart. So, back to my story, I am importing the Moulin cd and it starts to play and I remembered how much I love this music. I started to bounce on my chair and kind of sing along. (more…)

by Jane:

I’m a 30-something, single, Mormon woman who is finishing a PhD at a large research university. I get a buzz from intellectual work and am a faithful member of the church, but feel like a square peg in a round hole at either setting. At school, I’m considered a radical conservative; at church, I’m a flaming liberal. Being single makes me a mystery at church and being celibate makes me a mystery at school. Etc. etc. You get the picture. At least I have an interesting life!

Several years ago I moved across the country to attend graduate school. During this time there’s been all sorts of personal upheaval in my life including a couple bouts of serious illness, but I’ve survived. I have some good friends here and a strong support network out of state. However, in nearly three years I have never had a real visit from home-teachers. (A year and a half ago, my assigned HT did stop by with a treat for Christmas, but declined my invitation to come inside.) In many ways, the absence of HT hasn’t seemed like that big of a deal.

As a single woman, I’m used to doing things myself and I’ve learned to depend on the Lord. Plus, I’m fiercely independent. However, lately I find myself resenting this situation. It bugs me that I faithfully serve in the church, do my visiting teaching, etc., but I am not on anyone’s radar. I would have to travel hundreds of miles to find a priesthood holder who feels some personal interest/responsibility for me. (Granted, the bishop knows who I am and genuinely cares that I’m alive, but I am not going to bother him.) In general, the only interaction I have with men at church is from the pulpit (and that’s not interaction, just sermons) or when they ask me to do something. (more…)

We who are fortunate enough to live in the Western world can expect to survive pregnancy and childbirth. Some have easy pregnancies and deliveries, while others struggle through; but at the end, most of us will survive relatively unscatched, and most of our babies will also survive.

We are the lucky few. Every year, half a million women die in childbirth. The overwhelming majority of these deaths - 90% of them - are in the developing world. Maternal mortality rates in the world’s poorest countries are some 400 times higher than in the world’s richest countries. The lifetime risk for a woman to die in pregnancy or childhood is as high as 1 in 11 in East Africa. (more…)

yes, I know, two in a row but i couldn’t resist. they are so good!-mf

by: Derek

Breakfast in bed; gifts made with crayon, construction paper, popsicle sticks, and Elmer’s glue; songs sung enthusiastically off-key by the Primary during sacrament meeting; and flowers passed out after the service.

These are the sorts of things we associate with Mother’s Day in the Utah Mormon culture in which I grew up. I was fascinated a few years ago when I learned that originally Mothers Day represented so much more. Mothers and activists such as Anna Jarvis and Julia Ward Howe, author of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” promoted Mother’s Day as a day to rally Mothers to social activism. They recognized that while husbands and sons traditionally go off to fight and kill for glory, prosperity, or some ostensibly noble cause, it is the mothers (and wives, and daughters) who are left to pick up the pieces after the destruction: holding broken families together, mourning the lost, caring for those injured in body or mind, and carrying on after the smoke clears. They understood that it is the mothers who traditionally share the sorrow for the downtrodden of society as they are used and abused by the powerful elements of society, mothers who seek to support and heal. And they saw that the very essence motherhood, the formation of a human body within their wombs, is a creative, life-giving and -affirming role. Those pioneering mothers of Mother’s Day advocated a day to celebrate and harness the stereotypically maternal values: nurturing, healing, peace, conciliation, cooperation, empathy, humility.

(more…)

by: Spunky

About me: I was born into the church outside of Utah but did time in Utah as all good Mormon girls do. I am now married and live in Australia, and my post reveals more about me than I could ever write in this summary.This post is the most revealing thing I think I have ever written about my life.

As Mother’s Day approaches, the concept of motherhood and mothering cannot be avoided. Greeting cards for mothers, Grandmothers, and even Fathers who have been the “mother” at home appear on the shelves. As usual,I search for the plainest, most dull card around-sometimes even getting a blank card with a flower on the front. I write on the inside, “Happy Mother’s Day”, sign it and send it to my mother. (more…)

The setup. You are taking a walk/jog in the park. You are enjoying being out in the spring weather, when you pass a couple fighting. The man is yelling at the woman and a few times she gets hit by the man. From your perspective it is not hard and not in the face, but on the leg, or the arm . What would you do? Would you intervene, or just pass on by? (more…)

When my husband saw me walking around the house carrying The Left Hand of Darkness the first thing he said was, “That doesn’t look like the kind of book you usually read.” It’s true, I fear that I’m missing some essential something that makes science fiction engrossing and accessible, so in the process of reading the book, I felt like I could identify with Genly Ai, the novel’s protagonist, struggling to understand what was important and who he could trust on Gethen.

(more…)

Sunshine is our newest guest blogger-and I mean really new-she’s only been blogging for two months. (Remember those days? When you discovered the bloggernacle and everything was new and exciting? I do. Sniff)

Ok, back to reality…we can expect to hear from her several times over the next two weeks and I hope you are as excited as I am to see what she has to say.

Sunshine describes herself:

I started blogging about two months ago. I accidentally stumbled on Mormon Mentality, made a few comments and then realized that I was way over my head. Those people are smart! From their website I wandered over here and I got stuck. I love it. The only problem is I don’t think I am a Feminist. What I would call my self is the middle man, well, actually woman. I like the middle, which may tell you a little about me. I don’t think that I am wishy washy, I just love to hear everyones perspective, and I am fine with opposing views except if I really, really, really, don’t agree with you.

I am a SAHM of three beautiful children. I love art, good music and I have an opinions that sometimes it get me in trouble. I love to be on the go as much as I love sitting still. So, that’s me in a nutshell.~

As a Laurel, I decided that one of my large projects would be volunteering at the local food bank. I grew up in a town of 10,000, and we only had one food bank. I called and told them I wanted to volunteer, and they excitedly asked me in for a bit of a talk. The elderly woman who interviewed me was glowing. She heaped praise upon me, telling me that she was most impressed that, at such a young age, I wanted to help others. She asked me where it had come from, this desire to serve. I told her honestly: “I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and we believe in service.”

Her face fell. Suddenly the smile was replaced by a stern expression as she curtly replied, “We don’t need any volunteers at this time.” I was quickly ushered out. (more…)

I’m finally settled into my new life and job. (so what if it took two years.) I’ve managed to pay off all of my/our debt and I have a few bucks in savings. So it seems the timing is right to make another attempt to finish my degree (I prefer to pay cash for my education–crazy, I know)

Now that I’m ready to head back to university, I thought it would be fun to take an institute class and maybe something else at LDSBC over the summer. You know, just for fun and something to help get me in the groove again.

Turns out, I can’t. Not because I can’t get an ecclesiastical endorsement. Not because I’m unworthy or because I’ve committed a crime. I can’t attend classes there because my nose is pierced. Seems, I am in violation of their honor code and unable to attend classes because I’m a bad example? Disobedient? A sinner? (more…)

A couple of Sundays ago the first and second councilor in the bishopric came to our house. Most of us can guess that means a calling is coming our way. The Rolodex starting spinning. What callings need to be filled? Will it be me? Will it be my husband? Is it a hard calling? Things like that.

Well, they asked DH and me to serve as the Ward Activities Chairman. Humph, that is not what I expected. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t a bad calling, (I’ve never had it before)it just wasn’t the one I wanted or expected(who wants callings? admittedly I do I feel better when I serve).

When they asked us, they laid it on pretty thick. They told us that we would be perfect for the calling and that the spirit would be with us. They went on to say how much missionary work is involved in the activities (which I totally believe in missionary work) and how we would receive the necessary inspiration to fulfill our calling. They also told us if we chose to delegate, things would go so much better for us in our calling. Really, I could have said yes at that moment just by how much confidence they instilled in both of us; but, for the first time in my life, we asked if we could talk about it and have a couple of days to ponder and reflect on the calling. Let me tell you why we did this. (more…)

by Kaimi

Today, I gave Jesus a cheeseburger.  A meal, actually, with fries and a Coke.  I wonder if it was enough.

(more…)