Last October, Stephen Carter, editor of Sunstone, brought to life a new blog: The Red Brick Store, a group blog with posts from the editors of various Mormon independent journals, to “nurture and share good writing and good thinking in Mormonism.” The name of the blog comes from Joseph Smith’s Red Brick store in Nauvoo, where the Relief Society was founded, the Book of Abraham was translated, and the first endowments were administered. Around the modern Red Brick Store, you’ll find posts from Stephen, Ben Crowder (of Mormon Artist), Kathryn Lynard Soper (of Segullah), Kristine Haglund (of Dialogue), and Angela Hallstrom (of Irreantum) as well as various members of the staffs of the journals. I’ve been an avid reader of the blog since its inception (there aren’t many times when I can actually say that!) and today I posted my first post over there. If you’d like to jump into a discussion of what it takes to give a good interview, please check it out. If you’re interested in what’s going on in the minds of the editors of our LDS journals, add The Red Brick Store to your blogroll. I even got a famous commenter– take a look!

Note: Originally posted on my personal blog 

Some words are brilliant in their paradoxical in-your-face subtlety.  Take the word “disease.”  We don’t really think of it as being “dis” + “ease,” but the state of not being at ease is precisely the result of being diseased.  And then there is the noun “INvalid,” which, when read as related to the adjective “inVALID” (i.e. “not valid”), presents a striking perspective on a perhaps latent view of people who are unable to get around on their own.  So I got to thinking about what it means to resolve or “re-solve.”   (more…)

One of the things I always loved about the Word of Wisdom was how prophetic and progressive I considered it to be.

From what I can tell, I’m not alone. I believed we only recently concluded tobacco reaps hell on the body. Pair that with the idea that most understand the potential implications of drinking and recent recognition regarding the wonders of whole grains and less meat, and you have a logical testimony of the Word of Wisdom. I wondered about those pesky “hot drinks” most of my member life, but the idea that we continue to understand the effects of various substances gave me hope one day the world would come to its senses about coffee and tea. Anyone else?

Some browsing around the internet a few weeks ago brought me news that challenged my theory.  I learned our preoccupation with health isn’t as recent as I believed. The most recent “cycle” was that of the 1980s, but how many of us know of a temperance and “clean living movement” of the 1830s, the same decade the Lord revealed the Word of Wisdom?

In case some readers are unaware, I’ll offer a quick “official” background on what led the Prophet to what is now Doctrine and Covenants 89. (more…)

If your child contracts and keeps a fever of 103 for 10 hours straight, spews technicolor loveliness all over your floor, this will inevitably happen the night your husband is on call.

It will be the coldest night of the year.

It will be the night your best friend’s husband has a screaming child of his own to contend with, and thus cannot offer priesthoodly services.

So, finally, at quarter of midnight and after 3 hours of crying and all the “tricks” you can think of to comfort said child, you call your home teacher. Who is a lovely man and who agrees to show up.

Immediately, whilst said home teacher is rooting up a white shirt and tie (he’s a lovely stickler as well as lovely man), your child will suddenly get all happy.

Poor kid.

And now, poor home teacher.

. . . .

postscript: your child will fall asleep at 2:30 a.m. as you stare at a Buffy rerun but will awake when you cart his cute little carcass up the stairs. At which point he will both relieve and exhaust you by resuming perkiness until 4. Then he will fall asleep ON TOP of you. (Hey, not all bad: see coldest night of year.)

And will awake at 8.

Again I say, yaaaaaaawn.

I wrote this post exactly four years ago. I feel like my writing and my feminism have become more disciplined(maybe), but it’s a pretty good post, if I do say so myself.

I Don’t Need a Man

But I do want one. And as luck would have it . . .

It starts with the idea that women and men are fundamentally different, complementary differences that make us need each other. We are in fact essential to each other. This is pretty bare-bones fundamental to Mormon belief. I think. And it’s all nice and neat in theory but on a practical level . . . not so neat.

I don’t know where I stand exactly on the whole biology is destiny thing. I know the Proclamation on the Family makes me nervous and uncomfortable. But it also seems to be clearer and clearer that science is supporting the notion that some of the differences between men and women are actually pretty-well hard-wired into our chemistry.

This in many ways is a relief to me, silly as that sounds. I like being a girl and if I can defend my girl stuff with religion and science all the better.

But still I have to say I’m really uncomfortable with a blanket statement that says men and women need each other. So far as I can figure here’s why: (more…)

I did a post on my own blog a few days ago that has gotten some interesting feedback.  I wanted to revisit the topic here as a guest post because I thought it would be interesting to hear from more of you.

If you’re like me, you probably find it hard to reconcile certain Church teachings with real-life stories.  I was reminded about this after catching an old episode of Oprah a few weeks ago.

The guests on Oprah were young transgenders, who underwent hormone therapy and/or a sex change operation because they felt they had been born into the wrong body. One had been born a boy, but was living as a woman. The other had been born a girl and was now living as a man.

The more that I witness the personal stories of such people, the harder it is for me (or anyone, in my opinion) to deny that what they feel is extremely real and often devastating, depending on the support — or lack of it — that they receive from their loved ones. (more…)

I have three kids.  

This announcement evokes two responses, and each depends on my audience. Inside the ward building a person is likely to quip, “So when’re you having another one?” Outside the ward building, the response comes with a gasp and dropped jaw: “Three kids!” 

Three kids.  An LDS family of three children rivals the non-member family of an only child. Outside the Church, three children is…well, a lot.  

I will not have any more kids. At ages 5, 4, and 3, my children are more than enough. I love my kids, but to realize our original plan of five would have been the equivalent to suicide for me.

Try explaining this to others, though. Friends and ward family regard us as children who will soon come to their senses and pop out a baker’s dozen like good Saints do.

“Oh you never know. You’re young. You could change your mind.” 

“…Are you sure?” 

It’s true I’m young(er), truth that people change their minds, but I resent insistences that I cannot know, that I would be silly to stop now, as if age determines how many children one should have. Even after confiding in a few friends – even my bishop  – that after my last child my anxiety disorder flared, they stood by their original thought. “You never know. You’re young.” 

I began to question myself.  (more…)

By Sunshine

In early December I went up to see my parents over the weekend and I only took my daughter with me.  We had fun on the drive up spending some ‘girl’ time together talking and laughing, even though I don’t think I am so good at ‘girl’ time… anyway, we got to my parents house and walked in the door, and there was my Dad, like he always is, sitting in his chair waiting for us to arrive.  We said hello, hugged and chatted for a bit.  My daughter loves her Grandma and went back into the bedroom where we often, actually, always find her–sleeping– yet this day she wasn’t there. (more…)

When: First weekend in February
Where: Spud’s house, Emmett Idaho
What: Sleepovers, Mormon Potluck, Feminist Quilting, freakin’ awesome happy fun time.

Book your flights, find your road trip buddies, get a sitter.

I-DA-HO!

More Details to follow.

Recently my father (knocking on the door of being 70-yrs-old) was in the hospital for neck surgery.  Three days later he insisted on going home (across town from me) since that was the only place where he “rest and recover.” (bad idea #1)  As I am afflicted with two deadbeat sisters (yes, that’s me judging them), tending him fell largely on my shoulders (and that of my DH and teenagers) which meant I was on the receiving end of nothing but his grumpiness and endless cursing streaks – I admit to developing an un-Christ-like attitude as the hours and days wore on.  Skipping ahead a few days…. this was the conversation:  “uhhh, Mary Magdalene, I think I’m ‘impacted’ and I need you to ….”

Ok folks, deep breath - very slow exhale, “Sorry dad, that is my line in the sand and I will not cross it for any reason.”  He whined and fussed, but I didn’t care and made the same suggestions to him that I used when I had a house full of diapers, runny noses, and bad haircuts – applesauce, and plenty of it!  He called a friend, applesauce was delivered, and later he called me to make a new announcement (can I say here that I no longer care to know about my father’s bowels … ever?) that indeed he was ‘cured.’

(more…)

Dh to Brick (4yo): Brick, please put your socks in the hamper

Brick: No.

Dh: Put your socks in the hamper right now.

Brick: You not the boss of me.

Dh: I am the boss of you.

Brick: No, Jesus the boss of me.

Dh (to me): How do I argue with that one?

Are Mormons Christians? Holy crap! I’m tired of this one. 

If you go to the Gospel Library in the lds.org site and search for “Christian” you will find a rather large list of talks which argue the case that we are Christians. 

I’ve always wondered why this is such a big deal for us, why we’re all so concerned about the rest of the world accepting us into the realm of Christendom. Is the Christian title requisite for admission into God’s Kingdom? It’s hardly central to salvation to have the title.

The fundamental belief of all Christian people is that Christ is our savior. To us, it’s rather obvious. To others, not so much. (more…)

Too many members think they cannot or should not read novels outside of the approved LDS book club list. I was one of them. Though I’d written since the age of six, I stopped soon after joining the church, well aware of the stories I used to write and convinced they weren’t worthy now that I belonged to the True Church.

I also stopped reading. I thought and felt that if I was to read anything, it should be strictly church related - either the scriptures, Church authorized material, or even things like “The Work and the Glory” (snore!)

Then came the day seven years ago this May when I suffered a miscarriage. As I’ve only miscarried once, I don’t know if the physical toll I took is common or not (I was only 6 weeks along), but it was significant. Bed rest. I was bored to death.

(more…)

I’m ruined. RUINED– I tell you!

I’ve loved The Nutcracker ever since my mom and godmother took me to Lincoln Center when I was six and the swelling music and dancing fairies had me begging for ballet lessons all the way back to the suburbs. Eight years later, I spent the months of October and November in rehearsals and December traveling around New England to meet my demise as a mouse over and over again.  Christmas just wasn’t Christmas without cranking up the Tchaikovsky and envisioning the pesky boys at the party taunting their sisters, Mother Ginger opening her skirts, the Russian guys jumping, and the Sugar Plum Fairy twirling and spinning.

A few years ago, I decided to introduce our oldest daughter to the magic of The Nutcracker. It’s been our thing– something we look forward to all fall. We sat together in the theater last Thursday night, both feeling expectant as the orchestra started and the curtain rose. Usually, I just absorb the music and the dance and the costumes and the sets and find myself almost overwhelmed by the spectacle. But this year, I saw a single Nutcracker prince, surrounded by dozens of identical women (reappearing as snowflakes and food and flowers). He took Clara through these worlds, motioning to her as if to say, “All this could be yours. You too could be one of nineteen princesses, supervised by a benevolent head princess. Join my harem!”

I blame you fMh, along with David Ebershoff and Todd Compton for ruining a perfectly good Christmas tradition. When I used to go to The Nutcracker, it was a fun night out with my daughter and a chance to reminisce about my glory days as a dying rodent. Now I worry about whether or not the Sugar Plum Fairy is being a good sister wife to the flowers. Do the Snowflakes know about the Hot Chocolate girls, or does the Nutcracker keep something sweet on the side?

“What do you want for Christmas?” Dh kept asking me.

“A T@B Trailer,” I’d say because:

1. It was kinda true.
2. I can’t think of anything I really do want (and can actually have).
3. I knew he’d never get me one.

Well, boy I was wrong: (more…)

I should be happy tonight-it is Christmas eve after all. In a few minutes, I will sit in the living room with my family and we will open one of many Christmas  gifts under our tree and later we will drive over to midnight services at  Zion Evangelical Lutheran church.

I should also be happy that my cupboards are full enough that I was able rummage through them to gather extra toiletries and food items.

I should be happy that my closet is overflowing with clothes; winter sweaters, jackets, jeans and shoes all waiting in a bag for another days use.

I should be happy that my bank account at this time can support our family’s needs and there’s money left over for an emergency.

And I should be happy that this year marked the largest fund drive the Road Home Shelter has ever had. Busting all records by thousands of dollars.

And I am happy for those things and yet, my friends, my heart is heavy this Christmas Eve. (more…)

As the Christmas season reaches its apex, finding time and room to contemplate God’s greatest gift to us may be difficult, but nudges me with its urgency.  Son of God, already a perfect being who had created the very world He would condescend to, could have been introduced here in any number of ways befitting the King whose title He deserved millenia before the Nativity, before Golgotha, before the empty tomb.  Yet He came as one of us, a helpless Babe who would need swaddling clothes to comfort and contain the flailing limbs.  The hands that shaped a universe, carved commandments into stone tablets, touched sixteen clear stones to light the deep, and that would tremble under cruel nails could only reflexively curl around Mary’s fingers as He suckled, utterly dependent, at her breast.  Surrounded by servile animals and outcast from the community of human shelter, the new little family–inextricably and eternally linked with the human family–commenced an earthly work that would culminate in an act so powerful that it reaches both forward and backward in time to save every soul willing to receive it.

Oh, come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

This is the first Christmas in 55 years that my Mom will spend without my Dad. My Christmas memories are chock full of Dad memories, in the morning he’d make us wait and wait while he built a fire and turned on Christmas music, then he’d sit next to the tree in his blue bathrobe, like the king of Christmas and hand out our presents one at a time, with deliberate agonizing slowness, cheerfully examining each gift, ignoring our impatience, deflecting our pleas for an immediate orgy of greed. Turning the whole process into a family event, where we actually payed attention to everyone, talked to each other, and laughed a lot. I miss him.

Life Sucks sometimes, eh?

We all struggle, and the joy of the season sometimes makes the pain cut even deeper. As daughters and mothers, sisters and friends, how do we mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those who need comfort in the midst of all this hall decking jingle belling ho ho ho-ing merriness?

An excerpt from a great book and one of my favourite carols. Wishing you all a peaceful and happy Christmas (more…)

This video link was sent in by commenter wistfulblue. Story below was written and submitted by Janet. (more…)