Sorry for the similarity with Nat’s post, “Bending and Breaking,” a couple of weeks back. I’d been fiddling with this post for a few weeks.  I thought about discarding it when Nat’s went up, but I eventually decided the angle was different enough to share.

Is there such a condition as Religious Multiple Religion Disorder? If so, I’ve got it in spades. I consistently find myself embracing seemingly opposing opinions on various religious principles at the same time.

(more…)

A YouTube Video fMh readers have to see,

Recently, our up and coming blogger, Petunia, daughter of mfranti, asked this question:

So, out of curiousity, why is Jesus ALWAYS depicted as white? He was born in israel and anyone who comes Israel now or then does not usually come to be of a lighter complexion. Or is He depicted as white because He wasn’t born from His mother and father genetics but from the Lords? The more I come across photos of the Lord, the more it provokes me to wonder, why is He depicted this way?

I have to say, I was not that precocious as a 16-year old. I lived in a mostly white world, and it never occurred to me that there was something wildly disingenuous about a blue-eyed Jesus, or a blonde-haired woman at the well. Exhibit A: (more…)

So I’m not exactly the science nerd type, the shameful truth is, I never in my life, not once, not ever, took a chemistry class.  Shameful, I told you.

So when the evolution/ intelligent design debates pop up, I don’t feel terribly invested in the whole thing.  I guess if I were to summarize my take on the situation it would be much the same way I feel about the nature/nurture debate, namely, it’s both.  Little bit ‘o nature, little bit ‘o nurture,  little bit ‘evolution designed by little bit ‘o intelligence.  Maybe.

But for all that I do think that God created (in God’s mind-bendingly awesome beyond my comprehension way) the Earth and the creatures that creep upon it.  I’ve never felt that a purely scientific, purely evolutionary explanation in any way conflicts or threatens this belief.  It doesn’t seem to me that understanding the mechanisms of evolution necessitates the next conclusion to be: therefore, there is no God. (more…)

As an unrepentant exhibitionist and someone who feels there’s been entirely too little of Janet around here lately, I chose this poem of Janet’s, originally published in November 2006.

Exhibitionism
modeled after “When I am Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple”

When I am a goddess I shall wear nothing
with ivory-peach skin and free toes which pad and don’t clatter.
And I shall spend my hours whirling
in the thin air of alpine meadows
(like Julie Andrews but less nun-like)
and raising goose-flesh on
bare arms at the grocery,
snatching cream pie and Breyers
and say I’ve no need for control top.

And I shall hold my shoulders straight,
ride the luggage return belt at celestial airports
and learn to whistle.

And then I shall fill a four-foot deep
tup with Calgon,
read Ovid and Ibsen,
lie like a cat in the sunshine
without apologies
for dimples and roundness.

And I shall burn barbies and
let my children dance at the flaming;
I shall cradle my guitar at my belly
like an italian lover,
suckle babies at my breasts
and tear those who hurt them.
I shall rename constallations,
ban calculus,
paint my toenails dandelion orange and
sing Tosca on the escalator
between bedding and housewares.

But now I must sort laundry,
match socks and let my nylons squeeze me like pythons.
I will skip double-dutch and braid thistle.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now
so people who don’t know me
are not aghast or offended
when I am a goddess and shed clothes like snakeskin.

by: RAH

RAH, has been lurking on FMH, along with his wife (EAH), for about a year. He has been an adult member of wards in Paris, Wyoming, and now Boston where his wife and 4 kids hopes he will finish his PhD soon.

____________________________

This post draws directly on the concept of the “Tempered Radical”, developed by Debra Meyerson and Maurine Scully two organizational scholars and feminists in their article “Tempered Radicalism and the Politics of Ambivalence and Change” (Organization Science, Sept-Oct, 1995) This concept also overlaps with the “faithful dissident” perspective that was a point of discussion on the blog a year so ago.

***

A very real dilemma faces individuals who are members of the LDS church and also deeply self-identify as feminists. Following this blog for a few days attests to the deep tensions and uncertainty we feel on a daily basis while trying to live in a way that reconciles these two identities. Meyerson and Scully argue that there are many ways to respond to the uncomfortable tension this creates - “some (individuals) leave the mainstream and some surrender their identities. However, separatism and surrender are not the only options. While frustration can be inevitable, individuals can affect change, and still enjoy authentic membership.” (595) (more…)

In the comments from Nat’s post last week, commenter Ryan made some statements that got me thinking. He struck me as a good natured guy, so I’m hoping he won’t feel picked on. There are a whole lot of people who have made similar statements here, he’s just our most recent example. In arguing on behalf of following the prophet with exactness, Ryan said:

Either the Book of Mormon is true or it isn’t; Either Joseph Smith was a Prophet or he was an impostor; etc. So, either Thomas S. Monson is the Prophet of God, or he is lying. I just don’t see that there’s a whole lot of wiggle room on the issue.

and:

I’m sure President Monson makes minor mistakes in his personal life. But on major issues in the Church, I don’t see how you can think he’s a Prophet if you believe he’s wrong.

and:

If he could screw up on a major issue, how can I trust anything he says? And if I can’t, what is the point of having a Prophet? I think it becomes a very slippery slope.

(more…)

by: Lula and Stephanieeeeeee
(Penitent Women and Authority slackers that we are, we promised we’d get back on the review wagon, pronto, lest we suffer death by feminist Lisa firing squad!)

We don’t really know what to say about Chapter 8 other than this: We agree wholeheartedly. 

Is that a good enough review?

*crickets**

“I need to announce that the stake president has instituted a new program for the Relief Societies in the stake,” the woman conducting a Relief Society meeting in my ward announced grudgingly.  “It’s called ‘The Bright Spot.’”  She held a poster of a smiling woman with her hair tied up in a red polka-dotted kerchief.  “Each month there will be a stack of cards here,” she explained, “with a task on it - like washing the windows or cleaning out the attic of our homes.  We’re all supposed to take one of the cards and…do what it says.”  She sighed, then looked up at the group:  “It wasn’t my idea.”  A slight groan went around the room before the speaker - a very committed member who would by no means identify herself as a feminist - continued.  She explained that the Relief Society presidency was protesting the program and we’d have to wait and see what happened.  I didn’t see anyone take a task card.  The poster stayed on the wall for a few weeks, and then quietly disappeared. 

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by Corktree

The issues surrounding the ERA are obviously not limited to a Mormon Feminist perspective - but we do have a unique one because of the church’s position and action against it.  In a recent heated discussion with my sister (who lives in California) over Prop 8 and our respective opinions, I related my concern that the involvement from the church was very similar to what happened over the ERA, and that by looking back on all that now, it seems strange that the church was so actively against it, and that maybe issues like allowing civil SSM will look differently 40 years from now.

But that’s the point, isn’t it?  How do we know what effect these laws will really have? The official position of the church on both issues have revolved around statements that effectively said, if we allow this to happen, “the family will be destroyed”.  Or at least, that’s what I get out of it.  But the thing is, in reading about the actual amendment and the official statements from the church, everything is speculation. (more…)

by: EAH

In teaching Primary today, on the topic of following the example of the Savior, the lesson just wasn’t working for my large senior primary. They were squirmy while I told stories of the savior - they’ve heard them all before - so I improvised.

“Who knows how to play charades? Let’s act out things people do to show they are following the Savior’s example!”

First, a boy stood up and acted like he was teaching/preaching. “Yes! We all need to teach the gospel and share our knowledge with people at church and all other friends. Very good!”

The next boy read scriptures. “Absolutely! Who read their scriptures today? Not yet? There’s still time! Did Jesus read the scriptures? Yes he did, and he taught from them too!”

“Who else can act out how we follow Christ’s example?”

Enter the girls. (Unlike the boys, they act in groups of course) (more…)

This post by Judy Cannon was first published Nov 9, 2005. 

I like the use of the concept of “soft power” and “hard power” in relation to women in the church. I think that it’s true, on a day to day basis, many (if not most) women in the church feel perfectly fine about participation, treatment, and even exercise of power within a limited domain within the church. Most women are not treated as inferior by men, although there are certainly still cases in which chauvinism abounds. But I think the important thing to recognize is that whatever power women exercise in the church comes in the form of “soft power”, or purely in the form of influence, rather than hard power, or decision making power. (more…)

We Mos gots rules.

Ask any Mormon what rules they have to live by, and about 25 can probably be rattled off of the top of your head.

No swearing.
No R-rated movies.
No “inappropriate” music.
No shorts above the knee.
No two-piece smimsuits.
No baggy pants.
No caffeine.
No coffee.
No tea.
No tobacco.
No alcohol.
No drugs.
No sex before marriage.
No same-sex sex ever.
No steady dating before missions.
No sleeveless shirts.
No tattoos
No facial or body piercings
No more than one ear piercing.
No facial hair.
No “extreme styles”.
No pornography.
No shopping on Sundays.
No recreation on Sundays.
No dating until you’re 16.
No open-mouthed kissing.
No inappropriate touching.
3 hours of church on Sunday.
1 1/2 - 2 years of a mission.
Wear your garments every day.

Get the idea?

What purpose do these rules have? Does every single one of the above actually have a practical explanation? Is the purpose of group cohesion and identity formation adequate explanation in itself? Or are the rules established simply as arbitrary ways to exercise control? Why do we follow all of the above? (more…)

I’ve recently discovered that Percy Jackson ain’t got nothing on me when it comes to famous ancestors.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were invited to attend the six-week Temple and Family History Sunday School class. The first class was pretty depressing. We got into our Family Search account and looked ourselves up. Once we linked him into his dead grandparents, hundreds of ancestors popped up on the screen. We kept scrolling back, and pretty soon we were back in England and Switzerland and Germany. Most of the converts in his family crossed the plains in wagons or pulling handcarts, so it should come as no surprise that the vast majority of the temple work on those names was already done. We zeroed in on one ancestor and realized that his temple work had been done more than a dozen times. (more…)

If your life is at all like mine, then your helpful friends and relatives have sent many wildly scandalized and deeply distraught emails about how those dirty Massachusetts liberals are trying to make our kindergartners have sex by making condoms available in schools.

If I can look beyond the fact that I am highly annoyed by the strident hysterical tone, I too can admit that despite my own dirty liberal tendencies I think it’s weird and disturbing that a five-year-old can walk into a nurse’s office and ask for condoms, no questions asked.  Let me admit that I’m not actually sure what all the true details are (I can’t pinpoint why but I hesitate to believe everything people send me in emails.) but shouldn’t a five-year-old asking for condoms be referred to social services?  Or something? (more…)

Petunia is a 16 year old Laurel that lives in Salt Lake City. She’s a convert to the Church, reader of sci fi/fantasy (she didn’t get it from me), lover of shoes and budding feminist. She is loved by EVERYONE (seriously, the fMh permas like her more than me) and she’s also my daughter.

/begin momma bear mode

I would ask that your comments take into consideration that Petunia is not able to argue at the level you are accustomed to. That means, if you take issue with her opinions, find a polite and age appropriate way to do it. If you’d like, you can direct any and all nastiness my way.

/end momma bear mode

By: Petunia

While I’m away from home visiting family, I’ve quickly developed a new morning ritual of coffee and facebook (my mom is a computer hog and never lets me use her laptop). Within a few minutes of being online, a friend hopped on, asked me what I’m up to and I responded with: “ I’m drinking my coffee and checking face book”. (more…)

It’s ironic now, looking back on it after almost twenty-five years, but the Family Home Evening manual (yes, the same one with the family and the braided rug on the cover that’s probably on your bookshelf) had a pivotal role in bringing me into the church. I bought one during our family’s marathon trip to Temple Square back in the summer of 1988, a trip that was intended as just an hour “touring the Mormon temple” but turned into a three-day exploration of everything the place had to offer (except, of course, a tour of the temple) and culminated in my family getting baptized several months later. I read the book from cover to cover, learning all about how Mormons view prayer and service and the importance of brownies and root beer floats.

Once we joined the church, I quickly decided that they probably had to use an illustration rather than a photograph for the cover of the manual, because a real-life photograph would show someone in the family sleeping, someone else sneaking off to talk on the phone, and a parent flaring her nostrils in frustration. At least that’s how it went in my house when I was a teenager, and my mom thought a good FHE lesson was rehashing everything she’d learned in Relief Society, not that anyone else in the family was all that willing to take over and teach in her place. In college, I spent four years shirking organized Family Home Evenings, where the assigned “brothers” always deferred treat-baking to the girls and spent the evenings checking us out. In my early married years, my husband insisted that “every night was family night” and since he was right, I didn’t put up a fight. (more…)

The original post can be found here.  

Just a reminder that Stephen M (Ethesis) and Win Marsh - AKA Amateur Parent are hosting a pool party for families in or around Texas this weekend.

I’ve received feedback that a few people haven’t been able to access the invitation. Here is the information: (more…)

Here’s a familiar scenario from my life:

I’m walking the 5 blocks from my work to my bus stop. As I’m about to round the final corner, I see MY BUS pull away from the stop. Usually, a whispered “Oh Sh!#” drops from my lips, and I start running. I desperately wave my hands in the air like a maniac, jumping up and down, staring at the driver, desperately hoping to make eye contact so that s/he’ll pull it over and let me on before they cross the intersection.

Two different things usually happen -
A) The driver sees me, shrugs her shoulders, and drives on, keeping to her pre-determined schedule. I was too late. My bad.
B) The driver sees me, stops for a moment, pops open the door, and lets me in. I breathlessly thank him, flash him a somewhat pathetic smile, and squeeze into an open seat.

Notice the bolded words? Yes, the gender of the driver is a pretty accurate predictor of whether or not they’ll go against official policy and stop for me.

Cuz let’s face it, I’ve got boobs. (more…)

Originally posted June, 2008

( I don’t think cell phones are evil anymore than I think a cocktail is evil. However, when misused and abused by individuals, both can be equally as deadly)

Watch this:

Did you see what you were supposed to see? (more…)

That’s how I answered the man who remarked, “Four boys, huh? You have your hands full!”

It’s not my usual response (since I hear this ALL. THE. TIME.). I am a candid person (a commenter on here once called it “boorish”), so my usual response is an exasperated, “Yes! I do have my hands full!”

But this was at the end of a long day at Six Flags. We had arrived before the gates opened, and we stayed until after they closed. My boys and I rode roller coasters all day long (while DH watched the baby and toddler). I had the time of my life.

So at the end of this really long and really fun day, I truly meant it when I said, “It’s actually a lot of fun” to have all these kids.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a comment I made on the choices thread a few days ago. Here is what I said:

I guess I have always believed that, for me, the most righteous thing to do is to have a bunch of kids and be a SAHM . . . as I look at other women who made different choices (have fewer kids and work outside the home while raising them) and seem a whole lot happier than I am, I do ask these questions of myself, “Did I have to make these choices? Could I have chosen something else?” . . . My choices are mine. I’m just glad to be seeing more options now.

I have been thinking about that a lot. If I could go back and do it again, would I still choose to have 5 kids? YES.

It has been hard - harder than I ever imagined. The past few years have been especially difficult, particularly 2007, 2008 and 2009. These were dark years for me. My fourth child was born in 2007 and my fifth in 2009. I’ve dealt with health problems and depression in the postpartum stages of both of those pregnancies. I’ve been on FMH sharing my struggles for most of that time. I want to be honest about my experiences, so I tell it like it is. And it’s been hard. And crappy. And I’ve said that.

But I also want to share the good and why I chose to have 5 kids. So this post is a counterpoint to myself. (more…)